Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
