just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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