and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
