im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
