Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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