I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
