i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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