I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
