never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
