nut hugger
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
