Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
