we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
