Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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