I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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