Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
