there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
