I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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