I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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