all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
