i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
