I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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