i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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