Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I want to be your penis for a week.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
