hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
