dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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