your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
