I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Two words: blizzard sex
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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