so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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