plz talk dirty to me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
