shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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