her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize