what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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