I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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