well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
