he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
