I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
