I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
