We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
