I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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