Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
