I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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