there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
