YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
