I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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