I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
