so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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