I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
