Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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