Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
