while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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