yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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